hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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