Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize