I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
