She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
