he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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