I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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