my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
