ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
