I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
organizing the empties. That sober.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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