My room smells like vodka and shame
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
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I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
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Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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