I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
