Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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