How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
