Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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