It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
