So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
