Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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