I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize
