she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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