i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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