dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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