K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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