Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
