So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
