Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
