Do vagina's smell?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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