Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm just crazy horny about you
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
