I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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