just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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