sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
