Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Also, beer. Big fan.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
