Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
