Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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