OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
