Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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