it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
