I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
