I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
