Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
