sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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