you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
