I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize
