Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
