she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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