if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
