i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I came so hard my ears popped.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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