We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
