i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
