I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
