oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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