I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
