You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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