yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
