please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
