these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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