You work out of a Hotel?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
