Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
