I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
