Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize