Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
