Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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