I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
