508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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