clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
