She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
