did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
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