she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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