he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
