Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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