I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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