im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
