we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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